No pain is worth getting acquainted to

No pain is worth getting acquainted to,

No gain is kind enough to long for

Beyond the abstraction of joy and sadness

This world and its ideas are full of madness

Much too often the heart grows heavy with despair,

And wonders wisely, what is the purpose of life?

Dreading over what one has left behind

Is letting go the only way to survive?

My First... Again

I started this blog about a year ago but stopped because of what I now know as the writer's block! There were days when I had the most awesome and ugly experiences and desperately wanted to share them, but once I really got down to writing them, the words would simply keep ringing in head until they no longer made any sense.

I have been wanting to make a fresh start again. This time for a long haul! I am confident that my blog posts won't be consistent. I might post once a month, or thrice a week! Please be patient and try to make sense in my ramblings.

M.

Home

Sometimes God gives you all those things that you ask for, but you end up asking for what he took away in return. All my dreams are coming true here but the only place I want to be right now is home. Miss you guys! :)

Tell me; tell me how do I stop this?
How do I stop feeling as if?
My direction is lost,
My smile is left behind,
My voice has drowned beneath many other voices,
And my reason to love doesn’t make sense anymore.

Every day is a new day,
And every day abridges my way,
Home is far far away,
And I miss it every single day;
Every single moment.

Wondering when I will catch the bus,
The bus that will take me home.

The Flow

In the past few months, my life has been one hell of a ride. Totally unpredictable! Which is really surprising to me because I am so used to sleeping at 5 or 6 in the morning, skipping the following breakfast and if possible lunch too; trying to keep myself sane as thoughts in my head took a toll.

Now, having to get up at 6 every morning, not even in my own room has left me a bit shocked. I don’t have to try and keep myself sane, I simply don’t have that kind of time. What I do have is a few minutes here and there where I stand all alone wondering just what the hell happened.

Sometimes it is a desperate desire to have someone to hold me; sometimes it is a sort of anger and confusion on my situation… But most of the times, it is the certainty, I terribly miss.

This is exactly what I am going through as I write this blog. But despite the feeling of having to start all over, I feel this time it’s going to be better. This time it’s going to be the way it is supposed to be… That’s how I came about writing this little poem (which does not rhyme) and to be honest, when poems don’t rhyme, I don’t like them. But then, some are written just the way they were being said in your head... This is that sort.

In a situation where it has become increasingly impossible for me to imagine how tomorrow will turn out to be, there is only one thing I am sure of, no matter how it feels, I am on the right track and something without a shadow follows me everywhere.

The Flow

So many songs to hear,

But only one that I go back to;

Again and again and again,

The song that plays the music of my life,

The song that reminds me of the times I cherish;

The times I have missed,

In the arms of something unknown,

I embrace the possibility of life,

Of the hardships and the good times yet to come,

Along with the endless flow of music,

I know for the first time in my life,

I am not alone,

There is a flow,

And I am following it.

Haiku

I don't know what a Haiku really is, except it contains as much as three lines (I may be wrong :)) and it's nature is ambiguous (at least the ones I read)... Well these lines really just came to me, so I wrote them down, and then when nothing more came, I stared at it for a long moment and then decided nothing more was needed. It's pretty much enough to convey the message that wants to be conveyed. Life is beautiful! Hope it is the same for all of you... :)

See me; the look in your eyes
Is what I long to see
The glimpse of the world

My First

I have spent the last hour wondering how to start. Was I suppose to write something special or unusual, perhaps? After a lot of thought I have come to a conclusion that I should write something that matters. :) Which is why I picked up one of my old writings. A scene I had written for a short dialogue-writing assignment. Something with a little moral and a lot of character. A good start, I suppose! Here we go...

"What are you thinking?" My mother asks, as she sits beside me on the bench, the one that daddy put up last summer. I look at her and wonder for a moment.

Staring back at the beautiful fields, I say softly, “Sometimes I wish I could go back in time. But I suppose, that’s never possible, is it?” I ask; looking back at her, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice. But it is a feeble attempt.

“No, it isn't. But it is better this way.” she replies, sipping noiselessly from her cup of tea.

Surprised, “Why would you say that?” I ask.

She shrugs, “Why would you want to go back in time when you should be going on with it?”

“But don’t you wish for all those good moments to come back in your life. Ever?”

“No” She says gently.

My face falls at that.

“But that’s partly because I don’t remember much.” She adds. “My dear girl, what we look for is here. And we miss out because it is simply difficult to move on.”

“It isn't so simple sometimes” I say, disheartened. Thinking of all those times gone. All the time; lost.

“But it is voluntary all the time!” She smiles.

I remain silent at that.

“It’s like the summer!” She says. “The warmth of which is always cherished!”

“But it goes away too, just like everything else!” I protest.

“The way I see it, it comes back again with even more warmth and comfort to cherish, but if you choose to sit inside, you simply miss out!”